In SINDHI marriages there is a custom called WANWAS in which the bride groom's clothes are torn by his relatives a day before his marriage. This custom is also performed in Bride's house.It is believed that by tearing the clothes & throwing them into sea or river will help the bride & groom to get rid of evil eye.
Among MANIPURIS there is a custom in which one senior lady from the groom's side & one senior lady from bride's side releases a TAKI FISH in the river or lake & sees that both the fishes move together.If the fishes get separated it means the couple will not going to maintain the relation for a very long time.
Among the SANTHAL TRIBE OF MADHYPRADESH the bride sits in a huge basket & a senior male from her family keeps that basket on his head & goes in the mandap than the groom climbs on his brother-in-law's shoulder's & puts sindhoor on the bride's forehead.
In Brahmins & Agarwals there is custom of singing GAALIS . The bride's relatives sing Gaalis. In Gaalis the relatives of bride tease the relatives of Grooms & the interesting part is that the Grooms relatives force the brides relatives to sing ' Gaalis ' & for that they give money .One of the popular Gaali which is sang in North India is as follows,
" Samdhee kuttae aayae......aayae yahan par......gattur ka paani pila .......pila meri guyiaan , guttar ka pani pila ".
" Samdhee ke mooch .....jaise kuttae ki pooch .......guttar ka pani pila......pila meri guyiaan , guttar ka pani pila ".
There are many more customs performed during marriages in India which are very uncommon & if our Bollywood Directors & Producers do some research work on the customs in marriage definitely we will be able to see more Indian customs in movies .
1) Ekta Kapoor :-
"meri marzi, meri marzi............
mein bhudde ko jawan dekhaoon,
meri marzi, meri marzi..............
mein murde(dead) ko zinda dekhaoon"
2) Rakhi Savant :-
" mujhe na choona........bijali hoo mein"
3) Imran Hashmi :-
" Jumma chumma de de..............."
4) Hritik Roshan :-
"Yeh chaand sa roshan chehra....
Zulfo ka rang sunhera ........
Yeh jheel si neeli aankhen.....
koi raaz hai en mein ghera.....
tarif karoon kya mein uski.....
jisne mujhe banaya........."
5) Shekar Suman :-
" Thande Thande Pani se nahana chahiyae ,
Gaana aayae ya na aayae gaana chahiyae "
6) Vivek Oberoi:-
" Sheesha ho ya dil ho...............
aakhir tooth jata hai....tooth jata hai "
7) Eye Specialist :-
" Teri aankho ke siva ........
duniyaan mein rakha kya hai.."
8) Heart Surgeon :-
" Jab koi tumhara hrady( heart) thod de
tadapta hua tumhe chod de..............
tab mere paas aana priye............"
9) Maths Teacher :-
student tera karoon.........
gin gin ke mein intzaar."
10) Husband :-
" Jab se hui hai shadi........
aasoo baha raha hoo.....
aafat gale padi hai .........
usko nibha raha hoo...."
11) Wife :-
" haay...ka karoo Ram.......
mujhe bhudda mil gaya...
haay...haay buddha mil gaya....
12) Salman Khan :-
" Babuji dheere chalna....pyaar mei jara samalna...
aaaa....bade dohke ...bdae dokhe hai is raah mei......."
13) Amitabh Bacchan :-
" Badae miyaan..to...badae miyaan......
Chotae miyaan bhi subhan alla......."
14) Kareena Kapoor :-
" Khud ko kya samjhta .....itna kyu akadta hai...
Bollywood mei har din aatae nayae ladke hai......"
If you find these caller tunes intresting then do not hestitate to laugh & also do not forget to leave a comment for my post.
No-1) The name of the Soap should start with letter K * This is mandatory.
No-2) There has to be a Saas, Bahu and Sautan.
No-3) There should be at least 2-3 extra-marital affairs.
No-4) There should be an ideal mother and a bad son.
No-5) There has to be Death or Exile of the lead Character.
No-6) Antim Sankar of the character who has died must be shown.Therefore Ekta’s has many white Saris , gent’s kurta payjamas, matkis & other antim sanskar samagris in her studio.
No-7) There has to be re-entry of the lead character.
No-8) The story of the soap should be of a big industrialist’s family with Business turn over of at least 500-600 billions .
No-9) The soap has to take a leap of minimum 20 years.
These are the main formulas of making daily soaps. So common write down in your book , who knows when you need these formulas to make a sabun which is as durable as Ekta’s sabun.
Wedding is a very important custom in all communities .It is a most memorable thing in each & every individuals life .All of us keep the memories of wedding alive through photographs .
Today wedding celebration is a costlier affair. It has become a trend that there should be some kind of stunt in the marriage without which the wedding will not be considered grand .For instance in Abhi & Ash wedding there was duplicate of Salman Khan & Abhishek Bacchan roaming around .In recent past ,Amar Dravid & Sayli Bhagat Pune based NRIs of USA married 7 times.They married according to Hindu Vedic , Chinese , Islamic , Roman , African styles & finally they did court marriage in USA.
In spite of the great expenditure & stunts no Bollywood , Hollywood or Industrialists marriage can be as amazing as wedding ceremony of Lord Shiva & Parvati .It was a wedding celebration where Beasts, Devils ,Animals danced in the wedding procession & other deities joined the procession.
People were crazy for Kajol & Ajay , Abhi & Ash wedding pics but wedding photographs of celebrities cannot be as interesting & amazing as wedding pics of Lord Shiva & Parvati or Ram & Jaanki till eternity.
1) “ TIRCHI TOPI WALE O’ BABU BHOLAE
BHALAE , TU YAAD AANAE LAGA HAI , DIL MERA JAANAE
LAGA HAI "
This song reminds me of Himesh Reshamiya
2) “ KHAMBAE JAISI KHADI HAI , SHOLA HAI YA
FULCHADI , AANKHO MEIGUSSA HAI , LABO PAR GALI ,
DEKHO ZARA KHUD KO SAMJATI HAI KYA "
This song suits RAKHI SAVANT
3) “ YEH CHAAND SA ROSHAN CHERA , ZULFO KA RANG
SUNHERA .YEH JHEEL SI NILI AANKEIN , IN MEI RAAZ
HAI KOI GEHRA .TAAREEF KARU KYA MEI USKI JISNE
TUJHAE BANAYA "
No sooner I hear this song ,I think of Hritik Roshan
4) “ AATI …..NAHI ….HA AATI NAHI "
( FROM THE MOVIE PREM )
The song is very apt for SALMAN KHAN
5) “ LADKI HAI KYA RE BAAB BA …..IS KI ADA RE BABA,
IS KA NASHA RE BABA …..BABA "
This song is perfect for Malikka Sherawat .
6)" KYA COOL HAI HUM…… KYA COOL HAI HUM…………”
This song is for Saif Ali Khan . Amrita , Rosa & now kareena but still he is cool
7 ) “ OH’ PAPAE PYAAR KARKE PACHTAYA "
The song reminds me of Vivek Oberoi.
1) Celebrity: Use this word while you speak , as many times as possible for eg. You meet your friend after very long time just say “hey! Buddy, where are you? You have become a celebrity aan................
2) Catchy: Instead of saying make it attractive or prominent say “make it catchy”
3) Chemistry : Never say to a husband & wife that they look good when they are together instead say " you guys have a mind blowing chemistry "
4) Bitching : If you want to say Mr. / Mrs. XYZ is telling you bad words than say " Mr. / Mrs. is bitching you ".
5) Hunk: Instead of saying he is handsome say “he is a hunk”
6) Washroom: Say washroom instead of toilet.
7) Ciao-Ciao : Never say “Bye- Bye " say " Ciao- Ciao ".
8) Just kidding : If you are leg pulling your friend, you may say, " I was just kidding
with you ".
9) Party Animal : If you wish to say that I like to go in parties than always say " I am a party animal . ".
10) Throw Party : Instead of saying "I am organizing a party " say " I am throwing a party".
11) Pops : Always say Pops instead of saying Papa to your father.
12) Just Chill : Never say "just relax " instead ,to become stylish you should say " Just Chill ".
13) POLITICAL HEAVY WEIGHTS : INSTEAD OF SAYING POLITICIANS OR LEADERS ALWAYS SAY POLITICAL HEAVY WEIGHTS
These are some of the words & sentences if you will learn this throughly, you will definitely become stylish.
GURUJI MOKSH : Dhanywaad Bandar , aaj ka din kafi shub hota hai kyuki aaj ke din hi saari hindi movie daabe mei se bahar nikalti hai . Isliyae aur adhik samay na barbaad karte huae mei aaj kuch hindi filmo ka naam privartan sanaskar karti hoo.
1) KYA KOOL HAI HUM :
Film ke dialogue or script ko dhayan mei rakhtae huae beta bnadar KITNAE CHEEP HAI HUM yeh naam kafi shresht rahega
BANDAR : Ji Guruji aap nae bilkul shai naam btaya hai .
2) KYU HO GAYA NA :
Filmi ke kalakaro ko madhya nazar rakhtae huae KYU BUDDHU BAN GAYAE NA yeh naam aati uttam .hoga.
BANDAR : Guruji ek dam jhakaas naam hai …apna Vivek buddhu bangaya na……………
3) TOM , DICK & HERRY :
Film ka naam TEEN TIGADA KAAM BIGADA bahut accha hai .
BANDAR : Guruji 3 number kafi unlucky hai.
4 ) DIWANAE HUAE PAGAL :
Beta Bandar ……film dekhane ke baad DARSHAK HUAE PAGAL .
5) HUM SAATH SAATH HAI :
Film ke kalakar ginae ke baad mujhae yeh naam jyada sateek lagta hai HUM 17-18 HAI
BANDAR : Guruji aap ne sahi kaha film mei kafi pultan thi .
6) TASHAN :
Film ka naam PAPA , MEI AUR PAPA KI GF bahut sahi lagta hai .
BANDAR : Waah Guruji yeh to kamal ho gaya . Ibhrahim , Saif aur Kareena teeno ek movie mei .
BANDAR : AAP SAB LOG HUMRAE HINDI FILM NAAM PARIVARTAN SNASKAAR MEI USKAE LIAYE BHAUT DHANYAWAD . AAP JAATE JAATE KRUPYA KUCH GIFTS DETE JAYIYAE .
He should start export business of leather caps & Jackets.
She should open a beauty parlor & the name of the parlor can be , REKKHAS'S SALON.
Bapi da should think about a Joolry Shop & the name can be something like, BAPIDAJI & SONS.
She should become a dictator or professional Rudali.
He can join Ramdas Padhyay who is a popular Ventriloquist.
Ladies Fashion Designer as he has a unique Colour combination sense.
I think she should become a Numerologist & also she can be a good Magician.With the help of her magic vand she can make young man to an old man.
If he gains weight again than definitely he should become a Sumo wrestler.
According to me she can be an excellent Politician.
It's my forecaste for him that he can be a good Astrologer if he takes my words seriously.
In my opinion he should start a gym.
He should open a hair salon or should start import-export
business of wigs.
- FAILURES ARE PILLARS OF SUCCESS
- UNLESS YOU DO NOT LOSE YOU NEVER LEARN THE SIGNIFICANCE OF VICTORY.
- ALL GREAT MEN & WOMEN WERE INITIALLY LOSERS.
- FOR US YOU ARE ALWAYS THE WINNER COME WHAT MAY.
Personally I feel these words do not work much. The person still weeps from within or in other words the fire of sorrow due to failure keeps on igniting. It is only the time which heals the wound of failure completely. As the time leaps we forget about our failure & get involved with other projects.
When I meet failure, I become very very upset & the worst thing with me is that I am not the type of person who likes to share my own failures with my family members. So the sorrow culminates within me who give rise to internal burning sensation, headache & nausea. Initially for weeks I used to weep but from few years I manage the situation by undertaking following measures.
- I recollect memories of my school & college days & think about those events when I was rewarded.
- I think about my past achievements in media
- I open my cupboard & look at the certificates, prizes & other rewards which I got in past.
- Than finally I open my photo Album & look all my photos
By doing this I feel calm & quiet. The inner burning sensation also reduces .I feel that I am a strong person & it is just luck which did not favored me & I can still do well.Thus in this way without sharing about my failure with my close ones I over come my depression of failure & I recommend other people to follow the above mentioned measures to over come depression & frustration in the event of failure in Life .
1) RATIONALIZATION: It is a psychological process where we give logical but false excuses for our behavior.
Example: If a person does not get grapes to eat he / she will say I do not like grapes because they are not looking good or the person may say I have sore throat therefore I do not want to have grapes.
2) DISPLACEMENT: It is a psychological behavior where in a person expresses his/her unpleasant feelings against an object different from the object which is actually causing frustration.
Example: A women may start hitting his son after she has a fight with her husband.
3) SUBLIMATION: Is a psychological process wherein an individual engages in a socially desirable substitute activity to gratify a frustrated motive.
Example: A person who fails in his love life may start writing romantic poems. A very good example of this is when Dr. Harivansh Rai Bacchan's first wife Shyama expired he wrote Madhushala.
4) REACTION FORMATION: Is a process in which we act in a way which is exactly opposite to what we thinking.
Example: A person may appreciate another person for his/her dressing style but from within he is thinking, How ugly that person is looking?
5) COMPENSATION: Is a process where in an individual tries to overcome his limitations.
Example: I always wanted to become a doctor but I did not succeed therefore I chose Dietetics which is a Para-medical field.
6) IDENTIFICATION: Is a process in which the individual accepts other people's desirable qualities as his own.
Example: Many boys imitated Salman Khan's hair style of Tere Naam.
7) REGRESSION: In regression the individual goes back to childish or primitive forms of behavior in the face of frustration.
Example: A grown-up person may cry like a child in the event of failure.
8) PROJECTION: In projection an individual blames others for his shortcomings & mistakes.
Example: An actor who has not performed well may blame the director or the script of the movie.
9)DAY DREAMING : Is a process where individuals starts visualizing that all his unfulfilled wishes are full filled.Day dreaming is also known as fantasy.
I often used to wonder , how easy is for Muslim husbands to break at any time the pious relationship of marriage as right from my childhood I have heard & seen in movies , plays , TV serials etc that if a Muslim husband says TALAQ thrice , the couple gets immediately divorced. Thus just in a blink of eye a woman no longer remains wife of her husband . This made me always feel that the relationship between Muslim couples is very weak as it is easily broken by a word TALAQ . However in recent past my computer technician , Mr. Ahmed Khan changed my conceptions about Talaq by explaining to me the actual process of Talaq which is mentioned in Quran Shariff
According to Quran , the process of Talaak takes months & the husband does not say TALAQ THRICE AT A TIME. So if the couple is finding difficulties in adjusting with each other , the husband will say Talaq once & then he will wait for one month . If the couple resolves their differences then they will go ahead with their relationship other wise the husband will say TALAQ for the second time . After saying Talaq for the second time , the husband has to wait for one more month. Again if the couple copes up with each others expectations then they will continue with their relation or else the Husband will say TALAQ for the third time & the couple will then finally gets separated.
Thus is we go by Quran Shariff , Talaq is not simple , it takes months however many people have changed the rule of Talaq according to their own convenience .Quran Sharif also mentions that if a husband give divorce to his wife & then wants to remarry his wife then the wife has to marry first another man then she should have relationship with that man & then after giving divorce to that man she can again marry her first husband . Unfortunately Muslims have accepted this rule as it is .
Through this post I just want to convey that the actual process of Talaq in Quran Sharif is differnt from what we see & hear in movies , serials etc. Many people have modified the rule of Talaq according to their convenience . It is not jsut in Islaam but in almost all religions that people do not follow the principles mentioned in the religious scriptures & therefore the religion loses its purity.
FILMI GURU MOKSHA : Aaj bada shub din hai isliyae mei kuch naamcheen bollywood hasthiyon ka naam parivartan kaungi .
1) SALMAN KHAN :
Salman Khan ka naam PREM KHAN atti utam hai . Agar who apna naam Prem Khan kar lein to unke jeevan mei jo prem ka abhaav hai woh humesha humesha ke liyae khatam ho jayega .
BANDAR : Guruji bilkul sahi naam aap nae bataya …. jyadatar movie mei unka naam PREM hota hai aur unki movie mei shaadi bhi hojati hai .
2 ) NIGAAR KHAN :
Nigaar Khan ka naam SIGAAR KHAN sarvshresht hai beta Bandar . Kyuki unhae dekh kar , har koi andar hi andar sulagta rehta hai .
BANDAR : Guruji agar RAJ KUMARJI Nigaar ko dekhtae hongae to yeh kahenge “ JAANI AAJ BHI HUM JAB TUMHAE UPAR SE DEKHTAE TO ANDAR HI ANDAR SULAG TE RAHTAE HAI ".
3) SAIF ALI KHAN :
Saif Ali Khan ka naam SAFE KHAN .
BANDAR : Bhadiya …………….hai ………….
4) ANIL KAPOOR :
Anil Kapoor ka naam mere anusaar BHALOO KAPOOR hona chaiyae .
5) RAKHI SAVANT
Rakhi Savant ka naam mei TEKHI SAVANT rakhti hoo.
BANDAR : Ha guruji who to hari mirchi se bhi jyada tekhi hai .
6) MALAIKA KHAN :
Malaika ka naam mei DAAMINI ARBAAZ KHAN rakh ti hoo.
BANDAR : Guruji aapnae sahi kha who to bijli hai jis par gir jayae ,who aadmi barah ke baho mei jayae .
7) MALIKKA SHERAVAT :
Malika Sheravat ka naam FULJHARI rakha meine .
BANDAR : Guruji mere hisaab se to woh live wire without insulation hai ……..galti se bhi choo liyae to na janae kitnae hazaar VOLT ka current lagaega.
BANDAR : Guruji bahut bahut dhanywaad aapnae apna itna keetam samay nikala aur humare bollywood hasthiyon ka naam parivartan kiya , iskae liyae bahut bahut shukriya .
FILMI GURU MOKSHA : Bandar is mei shukriya kahnae ki jaroorat nahi hai ..yeh to mera kartvya tha.
BOLLYWOOD GURU MOKSH: Shukriya Bandar, aur sabhi upastith mahanubhavon…..aaj mei batungi ki kis ABHINETA KO KAUNSAE VIGYAPAN MEI KAAM KARNA CHAIYAE ….
BANDAR: Guruji jaldi batayae……ke mei kausae ad mei kaam karoo……..meri gharwali ke saath….
BOLLYWOOD GURU MOKSH: Chup Bandar apni taang beech mei na fasao……
BANDAR: Sorry, Sorry……………
BOLLYWOOD GURU MOKSH: Ab mei batanae ja rahi hooooo………..
1) SALMAN KHAN :
Beta Bandar, Shirt, T-shirt companywalo KO Salu miyaan ko apnae shirt ke vigyaapan mei lena chaiyae. Issae unki sale kafi acchi hogi har marad yeh sochaega ki jaroor is shirt mei kuch extra hai tabhi Salmaan Khan jaise ne shirt pahnani shuru kar di ………..
BANDAR: Meine to kabhi yeh socha hi nahi tha…Panditji you are great…….
2) IMRAAN HASHMI :
Bhaiyon aur Behno, Imraan ko ANTI AIDS ke vigyapan ke liyae sign karma chaiyae .Issae logo tak yeh sandesha pahuch jayega ki “KISS KARNAE SE AIDS NAHI FAHALTA ...ISSAE TO SIRF PYAAR FAILTA HAI “
BANDAR: Panditji mindblowing…………………
3) ABHISHEK & JHON:
Shaving cream manufacturing companies ko Abhishek ya Jhon ko hi apnae shaving cream ke ad mei lena chaiyae. Saare aadmi fir woh hi shaving cream khareedangae yeh soch kar ki jaaroo is shaving cream mei dum hai tab hi to Abhishek or Jhon issae use karnae lagae.
BANDAR: Panditji you are genius
4) SHARUKH KHAN:
Energy drinks or supplements manufacturing companies ko Sharukh ko lena chaiyae …..kyuki issae Bhartiy janta sochegi ki yehi drink pee kar Sharukhne apnae 6 pack abs banayae hai………..
BANDAR: Guruji ….you are simply outstanding …
5) SAIF ALI KHAN:
Body deodorant, perfume ke vigyapan mei kaam karma chiyae Saif ko…..issae productki sale kafi hogi..kyuki har aadmi yeh sochaega ki is deodorant ko laganae se hi Saif is umar mei 2 baccho ke baap honae bavzood itnae cool hai……
BANDAR: Kamaal hai….panditji……………..Meharbaan, Kadardaan, Pandaan, Peekdaan ……please zor zor se taliyaan bajakar humare bollywood guru Moksh KO THANKS KAHIYAE…….
Aap sun rahae hai TAZA KHABAR chanel 420 par, aur mei hoo news reporter MOKSHA . Aaj ka pramukh samachaar hai ki Mumbai mei 2 chimpy COOL & FOOL naam ke ghoom rahae hai laapta bollywood actors & actress ki talash mei . Yeh stars kai slaon se laapta hai ...... in stars ki details kuch is prakaar se hai . Aap krupya gaur se sunae taaki agar aap in abhinata ya abhinetriyon ke baarae mei kuch bhi jaantae ho to aap turant in numbers par Mr. Cool & Mr. Fool se sampark karein . Mobile number hai 4204204200
1) ANU AGARWAL : Aakhri baar KHALNAYIKA mei dikhi thi ....yeh uchae kad aur saavlae rang ki adhde abhinatri ke baarae mei koi bhi jaankari ho to jarror batayein.
2) SHARBANI MUKHARJEE : BODER mei Sunil Shetty ki co-star thi woh ....boder ke baad pata nahi kha gayi........yeh sundar bangali mahila ke baar mei hum khabar dein....
3) ZEBA BAKTYAAR : HEENA movie in ka media career shuru hua tha ....parantu STUNT MAN ke baad yeh kahi dekhi nahi ......is pakistani mahila ke baarae mei hum suchit karein .
4) RINKY KHANNA : PYAAR MEI KABHI KABHI mei dekhai di fir sunae mei aaya ki shadi kar rahi hai par ab tak unki koi khabar nahi hai....kya aap in kae baare mei kuch jaantae hai ?
5) HIMANSHU : TUM BIN mei Priyanshu ke saath sab se pahlae dikhayi diyae thae . Uskae baad seedha bold scenes wali movie KHAWISH mei Malika sherawat ke saath . Magar lagta hai Malika ke saath kaam karnae ke baad un honae bollywood se sanyaas hi le liya . Kabhi dikhayi hi nahi dekha . Aap ne inhae kahi dekha hai ?
AAP IN GUMSHUDA KALARAON KE BAARAE MEI KUCH BHI JAANTAE HO TO TURANT Mr. Cool Chimpy aur Mr. Fool Chimpy se 4204204200 par sampark karein .
Isi kae saath TAZA KAHBAR yahi par samapat hota hai.....JAI HIND , JAI EARN4BLOGS
According to Psychologists & Sociologists when an individual marries,he or she faces a transition in life.This transition is called as Transition to marriage. Although each partner & each couple experience transition to marriage in a unique way there appear to be three typical stages in the transition of single hood to marriage.
STAGE 1 :- THE HAPPY HONEYMOON
In the continuing romantic glow & excitement that accompanies the wedding & honeymoon the couple are likely to experience optimism about any future problems & to expect the dramatic & tingling qualities of the relationship to continue evermore.The couple tend to tell themselves that despite of minor irritations & problems that may arise on the honeymoon their own relation is uniquely blessed . Regardless of experience of others they expect their romantic high to continue indefinitely. It is this romantic bliss that helps the couple through the early days of marriage . Although a marriage cannot endure on fun alone , THE HAPPY HONEY MOON STAGE OF TRANSITION TO MARRIAGE helps in establishing a stable foundation of marriage.
STAGE 2 :- DISILLUSIONMENT & REGRETS :
Disillusionment & regret is often referred to as the HONEYMOON IS OVER. It is characterized by conflicts & regrets about the marriage . Now one or both partners feel they have made a grievous mistake & are trapped in an impossible marriage . Even though sexual & other aspects of marriage may be satisfactory , the hope & fantasies of the engagement , marriage & honeymoon periods are replaced by disillusionment & disappointment . Now the previously inseparable love birds blame each other for not living up to what was promised during the courtship because of the this couple experience a mounting sense of frustration & anger. In spite of the tensions , in order to continue with the relation , the couple should work on the differences in the opinion , values & goals of each other this will only help to resolve the conflict & enable to accept each other .
STAGE 3 ;- ACCOMODATION :
Accomodations involves adjusting expectations for the relationship to realistic levels .It means building a realistic & durable foundations based on the positive qualities of the early days of the relationship. However it is a difficult task & needs lot of time & sacrifices but it is the most essential stage in the transition from singlehood to marriage.
Love is mother of all emotions.It is very hard for each of us to survive in the society without love in other words LOVE is necessary to live fit as a fiddle . According to Psychologists there are eight types of love , in order to understand the types of love I am first elucidating on the TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE. TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE is developed by Robert Sternberg in 1986. According to this theory there are three basic components in love between couples . These are Intimacy , Passion & Commitment.These components in various combinations give rise to seven types of love. Robert Sternberg also suggested there is is an eighth type of love in which all three components of love are missing.
1)NON LOVE :
This is a type of love in which all the three component of love ie Intimacy , Passion & Commitment are missing . Casual Interaction that constitute the large majority of our personal relationships fit this category of love .
2) LIKING :
This is when a person experiences only the INTIMACY component of love & the other two components of love are missing .This type of love is more than Non Love & characterizes friendships. Friends experience feelings of closeness & warmth toward each other but not intense passion or long term commitment.
Also called as LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT . The individual experience only Passion & there is no intimacy & commitment. Often it is difficult to distinguish between infatuation & true romantic love. Diagnosis is only possible when Infatuation has worn off.
4) EMPTY LOVE :
This type of love involves the decision that one person loves another & is committed to that love , both the Intimacy & Passion components of love are missing . This type of love is seen in marriages that have endured but are stagnant .
5) ROMANTIC LOVE :
This type of love involves Intimacy & passion but there is no Commitment .
6) FATUOUS LOVE :
This type of love results from the combination of Passion & Commitment component of love & there is no Intimacy..It is a kind of love sometimes associated with " whirl wind courtship " in which couple meet , get engaged & are married all within a few weeks. Fatuous love is a high risk for termination of relationship.
7)COMPANIONATE LOVE :
This type of love is a combination of Intimacy & Commitment & the Passion component of love is missing. This kind of love is seen between the couples who were very committed friends for long time &later they tied a knot.
This is a complete love. In this type of love all the three components of love are present ie. Intimacy , Passion & Commitment. Thus it is very necessary for each of us to understand love so that we can distinguish between the various types of love & this will help us to make better relations with people & thereby we can reduce mental stress .
more individuals by Verbal or Non verbal means. In order to make our communication effective
it is necessary that we should follow Four Fold Path For Effective Communication .
1 ) EMPATHY :
Empathy means putting one's own feet in other person's shoes or putting one self in other person's situation or looking from other person's perspective. Unless & until we do not look our self in other person's situations or problems we cannot make a right judgment .For instance, if I am not attended by the Doctor on the appointed time, instead of getting annoyed I should put my self in the Doctor's place & than I will realize that the Doctor must have several patients & he might have some urgent call or might have a serious patient whom he needs to attend first. This will help me to behave decently with the Doctor when he attends me. Thus empathy helps us to improve our understanding for an individual & there by our communication becomes effective.
2 ) OPENNESS :
In communication it means honest speaking . Communication is effective when we are honest . In other words we speak what we think & what is true. When we are dishonest the other persons too tries to hide facts. Our gestures & other non-verbal means of communication depicts that what we are saying is not true .
For instance avoidance of eye contact by the speaker with other individuals reveal that the speaker is dishonest.
3 ) EQUALITY :
For effective communication it is very important that the individual give equal opportunities to others to speak & share their view points. At times people do not allow others to communicate their thoughts & if by chance they allow others to present their view points they interfere a lot when the speaker is speaking. This result's in irritation.
For instance a Doctor who does not allow the patient to speak up makes the patient feel restless & irritated. Not only giving equal chance to speak but it also necessary to treat the person with respect & honor .
4) SUPPORTIVENESS :
Supportiveness in communication refers to making the environment comfortable for the who is communicating. We can be supportive by not distracting the communicator . Coughing , sneezing , laughing , giggling , foot taping , napping etc are some of the behaviors which distracts the communicator.
In most of the recent Hindi movies the songs have funny & senseless lyrics. For instance there is a song in the movie TASHAN, " DIL DANCE MAARE ". Now I do not understand how a heart can hit a dance? Also if the lyrics were ' DIL DANCE KARAE ‘, than also tell me can a heart dance? According to my knowledge heart can only beat & supply blood to the body.
Did you remember RANG DE BASANTI, in the move there is a song “APNI TO PAATHSHALA ‘. In this song there is a line “DIL MEI KARTA GUD GUD H2SO4 HAI ‘. Now if you have done chemistry practicals in your school or college than you must be aware that H2SO4 is known as Sulphuric acid & it is very strong acid. If by mistake a drop of sulphuric acid falls on any part of body the skin immediately burns & blisters appear. So how it is possible that in human heart their is H2SO4. When I heard this song I thought that the lyricist must not attended Chemistry practical ever in his school or college life.
Few months back the song from the movie APNA SAPNA MONEY MONEY "DIL MEI BAJI GUITAAR "rocked on radio stations all over India. However honestly tell me, have you ever heard a musical instrument being played inside your heart when you are extremely happy? Frankly speaking I never heard any musical instrument in my heart. You can only hear the LUB DUB sound. I feel in the heart of the lyricists of this song, musical instrument are being played day & night & may be in his next composition he may come up with " DIL MEI BAJI DHOLAK OR SHENAYIAAN " . Human hearts are cigarette lighters, excuse me this is not I am saying but the lyricists has conveyed through his song “BIDI JALAI LE JIGAR SE ".
"BHOLI BHALI LADKI, KHOL TERE DIL KI, PYAAR WALI KHIDKI HO HO " few years back this song was picturised on Mamta Kulkarni & Akshay Kumar. I do not really remember the name of the movie but what I cannot forget that the human heart has 4 chambers & not windows.
There are many more new Hindi movie songs with absolutely funny & senseless lyrics & according to me this is one major reason why people still enjoy listening to old Hindi songs as they have very powerful & meaningful lyrics.
- ) Elderly people should always keep their identity proof like Pass Port or membership card of a social Institute in their purse or pocket , when they are going out from their homes.
-) They should always register their residential & personal details in the Police station which is close to their house.
-) Senior citizens should feed all the telephone numbers of the local Police station in their telephone or mobile or should write down in their telephone diary.
-) Should also feed the telephone numbers of near by 24 hours open medical shop , hospital & also the contact numbers of family doctor .
-) Senior Citizen who live all alone should maintain a dairy or note pad for people who visit them .The elderly person without fail should record the details of the person who has visited him or her in the day along with their time details.
-) They should not keep huge sum of cash & jewelry in their home.
-) Should develop friendly relation with the neighbors & especially with their young children
-) They should install iron grills in window for safety.
-) In the night before sleeping , they should on a bulb or a light in the passage common to bedroom & living room & also in toilet.
-) Always keep a torch , candle & a match box at a place from where they can get it easily in case of emergency.
-) Always keep an extra pair of specs in their house.
-) Should keep telephone or mobile just close to their bed in the room where they sleep in night.
-) If possible should install a alarm which is connected in neighbor's home , so in case of emergency the elderly person can inform neighbor for help with the alarm.
-) If the elderly person is Diabetic or Asthma patient or Heart patient than he or she should keep the necessary medicine some where close to the bed on which he or she sleeps .
-) Do not keep servants without somebody's recommendations & should always submit the servant's photo copy of identity in the local Police station & in the society where the senior member lives.
-) In case of plumber or gas repairer etc comes to the house . The senior citizen should call either a neighbor or a relative to his or her house when the service provider is doing the work in the house.
- ) The senior citizen should keep the approximate payment of the service provider ready before the service provider comes , so that the elderly person does not have to open his or her cupboard for money in the presence of the service provider. In case the payment is not kept in advance , the elderly person should ask the service provider to wait outside the house .
- ) Elderly people should carry chili spray in their purse or pocket when they are going out .
- ) They should never show or make other people realize that they are old , weak & dependent on others for help.
These are some basic safety precautions by observing them senior citizens can protect them selves from burglars & murders.
Well some 2 years back when I was going back to my house from my house , I saw two women on the road side pleading for help. One lady who was standing was wearing a torn & slightly dirty sari , was asking people to buy her Copper vessels as she was urgent need for money. She was saying that her son got separated from her at the Mumbai railway station when they came from the village due to hustle & bustle & her son's wife ie. her daughter in-law is in her 3rd month of pregnancy , she urgently needs money to go back to her village . Looking at the plight of the women many people gave some money without buying her utensils &said that with this money she can feed her daughter in-law. The daughter in-law who was sitting at one corner seemed to be healthy . She was also wearing a sari but she had covered her face completely.
I too felt very sorry for the women & thought to give money . Meanwhile I was taking out some money from my purse , I saw an elderly woman who seemed to be quite rich saying to the poor lady that I will buy your utensils & give you some money . I felt very bad for the simple reason that why this elderly woman to buy this poor ladies utensil , why she cannot give her some money like that ? . Thinking that the woman must be heartless , I removed a 50 Rs note from my purse & moved towards the poor pregnant lady to give her the money. When i was just 6-7 feet away from the poor lady , I heard from the rich elderly lady that I will buy your utensils in 1000 Rs but I want to see your daughter in-law's face first . The mother in- law of the pregnant lady refused & said it is not possible. The rich lady said again but the lady again refused to show her daughter in-law's face . She said that my daughter has Conjunctivitis therefore she has covered her face. The rich lady told that so what happened if she has Conjunctivitis . Meanwhile some other women who were also standing in the crowd also said to the lady to show her face but she kept her daughter in-law's face hidden . As a result of which some people doubted for something wrong & therefore some women forcefully lifted the veil of the pregnant woman . To my surprise the pregnant daughter in-law was in fact a young healthy man who had dressed him self in Sari & blouse. I immediately kept my 50 Rs note back into my purse & tried to get out of the crowd as some men started beating the man in the guise of pregnant lady.
Thus in a nut shell some people for money can do any thing . For such people the words self respect , dignity are meaningless . Also before giving money to people like the ones I have mentioned think twice because if you give money to a cheater you are responsible for promoting more frauds in society.
It has been seen that women are more conscious of their age than men & therefore to hide their age or to look young , women prefer calling other women of approximate same age as Aunt or Mummy .There is nothing wrong in looking younger than one's own age but to look young does not mean that one should address people of same age with words that hurt them. At times people say that they call others as Aunt , Uncle , Papa or Mummy because they do not know the other person's age & therefore to give respect they address by such words but in reality these people are liars because if they wish they can address the other person as Brother , Sister & even better Mr. So & So or Mrs. So & So .
Recently an elderly lady bought a house in my building , her name is is Neeru. To make acquaintance she came to my house . My mother had a long conversation with the elderly lady . Mrs. Neeru told that she has grand daughter who has a 5 years old son . So we felt that she must be seventy plus but she said that she is just 75 years old. .Considering her age my mother addressed her as ' Neeru Aunty ' as she is only 57 but she immediately in harsh voice said do not call me Aunty , call me either ' Neeru ' or ' Neeru Ben ( sister ) ' . My mother apologized & said that I will call you as ' Neeru Ben ' as I am uncomfortable with just ' Neeru' . Neeru Ben & we developed a very good relations with her . She often used to come to my house & my mom used to chat for a very long time but my mother never called her ' Neeru Aunty ' even my mistake.
One fine day Neeru Ben came to my house with some snacks which she has made in her house , by chance my father who is 59 was at home . Neeru Ben started conversing with my father but as she was talking with my father she addressed him as ' PAPA ' . For the first time we thought that is was just a slip of tongue but she again called my father as ' PAPA ' & said that I am living alone in the house & you are my papa who will look after me because my grand children are away. My father felt embarrassing as he must be at least 16 years younger than Neeru Ben . Eventually my father said ' Neeru Ben every thing is fine but do not call me Papa because you are elder to me , so it will be better if you call me either by my name or as brother. However when ever Neeru Ben meets my father in the building she address him as ' PAPA ' .
This was my personal experience , you might too have come across people who are either of your age or elder to you calling you as ' Papa , Mummy or Uncle or Aunty '.According to me the only way to this problem is to address such people as ' Aunty , Uncle ' before they are able to address you as ' Papa , Uncle . Mummy or Aunty ' . Than only will realize how bad a person feels from within.
In cities because of huge residential & commercial buildings , factories , shopping malls , hospitals & other work places there is very limited open spaces left for people to move about freely & to breathe fresh air . Therefore public parks & gardens are must for the people of urban areas . Also people have small congested houses in cities & thus it is necessary from fitness part to use public parks & gardens. However because the parks & gardens are occupied by romantic couples , people who use parks for jogging , exercising or for yoga or elderly people who in search of peace , feel uneasy when they find lovers engaged in socially undesirable activities . Parents who go to public parks & gardens with their young children also feel uneasy.
Now the question is , why lovers prefer gardens & parks ? According to Psychologists , young couples who are in love unconsciously starts liking greenery , flowers , tree , birds , butterflies etc. So they find parks & gardens very comfortable & soothing. However the romantic couples fail to realize that their behaviors ( kissing , hugging etc ) in public places make other visitors in park or garden uncomfortable & people feel more stressful by visiting the parks or gardens. As there are no laws pertaining to lovers in public parks or gardens or beaches , people visiting the parks with their family or friends find ignoring as the best solution to this problem. In my locality there was a public garden at Breech Candy . Since lovers occupied it people stopped going there with their families & so young parents either have to take their children to some shopping mall or to some neighbors house for recreation.
Ignoring this issue by people has lead to the mounting of number of romantic couples in public gardens & parks. However the problem can be solved by following ways.
1 ) The local government or some Non-governmental organizations should develop parks or gardens exclusively for lovers.
2) Timing the existing public parks & gardens . For instance - the park will be open only for joggers , elderly people , children between 5.00am to 10.00 am . Than the park will be open only for romantic couples between 10.00am to 2.00 pm . Between 2.00pm to 4.00 pm the park will be closed & again the park will be open only for children , senior citizens , joggers between 4.00pm to 7.00pm.
3) A third way out is penalizing couples who will be seen engaged in socially undesirable activities with their partners in public parks & gardens.
However according to me the second way out is more feasible & easy to adapt. Thus in a nut shell , NANA NANI PARKS TURNING TO LOVERS PARKS is a serious issue as in urban areas public parks & gardens are important places for senior citizens & children for recreation.
In recent past one of my cousin's eye lid was wounded because of a prank played by his younger brother.My 16 year old cousin Vaibhav has a passion for bathing soaps . He used to change his bathing soap daily. He loves soaps with good fragrance & so he uses the soap once or twice & than he used to keep the soap on the wash basin for cleaning hands. Vaibhav never used to allow Vinay his younger brother to bath with his new soap first , he did not allow him even to touch the new soap . Vaibhav as usual bought a new soap & he kept that soap as it is in his cupboard.he did not took bath with it for some days. Vinay just for fun took a iron pin which did not had head & inserted that pin in Vaibhav's new soap. Vinay wrapped the soap & kept it back in Vaibhav's cupboard. Unfortunately Vaibhav the following day took that soap out of his cupboard & remove the wrapper of the soap & took it for bath.He started bathing with the soap & made lot of lather with the soap . Vaibhav was enjoying his bath but when he rubbed the soap on his face , the pointed iron pin pricked Vaibhav's eyelid. His eyelid started bleeding . Vaibhav screamed loudly. He immediately washed his face with water & when he opened his eyes he saw the pointed edge of the pin in the soap. His eyelid was still bleeding . Vaibhav came running out of wash room & started crying. His mother took him to doctor for the Tetanus injection. When Vaibhav came back , Vinay too had come back from school . My aunty ( Vaibhav's mother ) told how Vinay got hurt from the bathing soap. Looking at Vaibhav's eye , Vinay felt sorry. He busted into tears & apologize for his mischief.He honestly told that he has inserted the pin in the soap of Vaibhav. My aunty scolded Vinay & told him that if Vaibhav eyes were open while rubbing the soap on his face than Vaibhav might have lost his eye.
In another case, my friend Raksha thought to play a prank on his old maternal aunt.When her aunt was sleeping on the bed , she quietly placed a plastic , artificial lizard on the bed. When her aunty woke up , no sooner she saw the lizard on the bed , she screamed & jumped from the bed & as she tried to escape she lost her balance as the foot mat slipped . The poor old lady fell on the floor & broke her right hand wrist bone. Thus do not play prank without thinking , for you it might be a fun but for other it can be deadly. Also before playing a prank think how will you react if some body else will play a same prank on you ?
In the above context , I remembered a funny incident which happened recently with my friend Vishal. My friend Vishal was blogging on a popular website named IBIBO . IBIBO was paying top 1000 bloggers every month some 3-4 months back. Keeping in mind that woman bloggers get better response in blogging , Vishal kept his display image of a woman & also his display name as ' CUTE BABE ' . Some male bloggers thinking that my friend was a young female , started commenting & rating his articles regularly. As Vishal used to write well the male bloggers developed interest in reading his articles. As time passed one of the male bloggers named RAJAT developed an attraction for my friend Vishal. Rajat started giving very personal comments which indicated that Rajat was falling in love with my friend Vishal. I used to read Vishal's articles regularly & therefore I used to come across Rajat's comment too. Initially I thought that it might be Rajat's way of appreciating Vishal's articles but later with some other Rajat's comment on Vishal's articles , I realized Rajat was imagining Vishal as a beautiful young woman. Rajat in one of his comments even proposed Vishal.
I felt that Rajat has been deeply attached with Vishal. So I suggested Vishal, to clear Rajat that he is not a female but Vishal said that he does not want to lose his viewer ship & a his fan. Vishal said that I have not asked Rajat to comment nor I am in any kind of personal communication with him. As Viashal & I are good friends , Vishal promised me that as soon as the blogging round will be over , he will change his display image & name. Rajat kept on commenting on Vishal's articles & he used to ask regularly Vishal for his email ID & mobile number. One day in his comments , Rajat wrote that he was imagining my friend Vishal in swimming costume. When Vishal & I read this we laughed like anything. Our cheeks were red & our stomach started paining badly. That day we decided that we should not hurt Rjat's feelings & so it is better to clear Rajat's misconception of Vishal being a female . Vishal immediately changed his display pic & he kept his own pic on display . Also he changed the display name from " CUTE BABE " TO " VISHAL " . We were waiting for Rajat's response & for few days he did not comment on Vishal's articles. However after some days he left a comment saying that he made a big mistake in his life & he is broken totally from within.
In my opinion it is good to read blogs on net but it is my advice do not be personal with any blogger & also do not go with the picture in the avtaar & the display name .As the name & pic may not be of the blogger or writer . Thus read the articles & blog with the aim of improving intellect .
Most of us are aware of two styles of leadership namely AUTOCRATIC & DEMOCRATIC .However Autocratic & Democratic are two extreme styles of leadership , there are several other styles of leadership which are combination of Autocratic & Democratic leadership .
1) AUTOCRATIC STYLE :- Autocratic style of leadership is also know as DIRECTIVE STYLE OF LEADERSHIP .An Autocratic leader makes all decisions by himself or herself & expects the whole group to follow his decisions . If any body questions or does not obey than the autocratic leader uses all kinds of negative techniques to ensure that his decisions are followed by every one . Generally under Autocratic leaders the group remains unhappy . However Autocratic leadership is required when the group has unskilled members or the members are highly indisciplined or during emergency situations like fire , storm etc.Autocratic leaders are further classified as
A) HARD BOILED AUTOCRAT :- This type of Autocratic leaders believe that they are the best & only Autocratic style of leadership can get things done from people .
B) BENVOLENT AUTOCRAT :- This type of Autocratic leaders are kind hearted & therefore uses positive techniques to make the group follow his decisions . For instance they may give leaves to employee .
C) MANIPULATIVE AUTOCRAT:-This type of Autocratic leaders are very dangerous as they will ask the group for their suggestions but at the end they will ask the whole group to follow what is already decided by the leader himself .
2) BUREAUCRATIC STYLE :- Bureaucrat leader is said to lead by the books ( BOOKS OF RULES )Such leaders sticks to the book of rules & procedures . They neither make decision by self nor he allows his subordinates to make decision .
3) FREE REIN OR LAISSEZ FAIRE :-The leader expects group to make decision ie leaves completely on the subordinates .Creative people work best under Free rein style of leadership. However there will be chaos in case of inexperienced & uneducated people .
4) PATERNALISTIC STYLE :-Is the style where the leader takes the role of FATHER FIGURE & treats the employee as his own children & all the employees perceive the business as family business . In return leader expects obedience ,respect , loyalty from the employees . However trade Unions has affected PATERNALISTIC STYLE OF LEADERSHIP .
5) DEMOCRATIC STYLE :- A democratic leader is one who allows the group to participate in the decision making process . The final decision has the elements of everybody’s suggestions . The group under democratic leader show lot on initiative .
Each of us lead the group in a different way &also each of us are member of various social groups therefore we should be aware of the different styles of leadership & the advantages & disadvantages of each style of leadership.
Russian Psychologist, IVAN PAVLOV was the first to explain CLASSICAL CONDITIONING by performing an experiment on hungry dog’s .In his experiment his team used to ring a bell & immediately after ringing the bell, Ivan Pavlov applied meat paste on the tongue of hungry salivating dogs. He repeated the procedure of ringing bell & applying meat paste several times as a result of which after few repetitions the dogs start salivating when they heard the sound of ringing bell even though the dogs were not hungry.
When Psychologist Ivan Pavlov started his experiment the dogs salivated when they were hungry but later the dogs started salivating when they heard the sound of the bell . This happened because the dogs associated the sound of bell with the application of meat paste on the tongue. Similarly most of us with repeated past experiences have associated the injection with pain therefore even before the doctor injects needle we start screaming or shivering.
-You finish faster mindless task like washing clothes, dishes etc when somebody is near by you.
- You perform well tasks, in which you have gained expertise when some one is near by you.
- You find difficulties in accomplishing a work or a job like writing an essay or poem or any other complicated work in presence of another person.
If you have experienced the above in your life than you must have thought that why it happens? & does it happen with every one. So let me answer today your queries. It happens with all of us & it occurs due to a psychological phenomenon known as SOCIAL FACILITATION. SOCIAL FACILITATION is defined as A TENDENCY TO DO BETTER ON EASY TASKS & WORSE ON DIFFICULT TASKS WHEN ANOTHER PERSON IS NEAR BY. Studies have shown that presence of another person have an important influence on performance.
It is very important for each one of us to understand SOCIAL FACILITATION because it affects our judgment about other individual’s abilities. To elicit on this I am sharing with you my own life experience that how because of presence of another person my performance was affected & because of this the other person judged me wrong.
Few years back I joined a Hair styling & Dressing course. Unfortunately I joined late so I missed 3 months course. As a consequence I was weak in comparison to other students. Also the teacher Mrs. Aasha Raza did not give me any special attention .Therefore I was not as good as other fellow students in making hair styles. One day Mrs. Aasha asked all the students to make hair styles on each other’s heads. I was asked to make French Plat. As I was doing my work quietly, the teacher came & stood by me. As a consequence I was nervous & was unable to make the hair style as good as others. Mrs. Aasha scolded me & said that my finger movements are not proper & she strongly thinks that I even do not know how to knead a dough. So I should join her cooking classes too .Mrs. Raza was absolutely wrong in saying that I do not know how to knead a dough because I am good in making dough & preparing different types of Parathas , Puris etc.
The above incident happened because Mrs. Raza did not realize that her presence made me nervous & as a result I was not able to make the hair style properly & so she judged me wrongly. Thus you should understand that your presence can make another person perform well if he is doing a task in which one does not require much skill or the person is engaged in a task in which he or she has been trained perfectly. On the other hand your presence can make the other person do worst if he or she is doing a complicated work or work in which is not trained well.
My cousin’s mother on one fine afternoon was stitching some clothes at home. After doing little work she felt sleepy & so she instead of inserting the needle in the thread reel she inserted that needle in the sofa on which she was sitting. She also kept all the clothes that were left, on the sofa & went to sleep. My cousin came from college & as usual switched on the TV to watch the Cricket match. As he was looking at the scores updates on the TV screen, he sat on the sofa. No sooner did he sit on the sofa, he screamed loudly. Everybody thought that Sachin must have hit the ball for six but it was the needle which poked in my cousin’s left buttock. The worst part was that the needle broke & half needle remained in sofa & half inside his buttock. My cousin was immediately rushed to hospital & was operated. Fortunately he got well within a week.
Now when ever I recollect this incident, I feel that just because my aunty was careless her son suffered. It would have hardly taken a minute to put the needle in the right place but out of laziness my aunty inserted the needle in the sofa & as a consequence his son was in pain. The incident which I mentioned is very rare but some very common examples of carelessness are throwing Banana skins on road & going to bed without brushing the teeth. Many people eat Banana & instead of disposing the skin in the garbage area they simply throw on road & move ahead & some unknown person slips on the skin & break his or her bones. People who throw Banana skins carelessly forget that it is possible that they too can slip on the Banana skin thrown by somebody else on road. Similarly many of us out of laziness go to bed at night without brushing our teeth & because of not taking care of our teeth we finally visit dentist either for root canal or tooth extraction.
THUS LAZINESS LEADS TO CARELESSNESS & CARELESSNESS IN LONG RUN PUT US IN BIG DILEMMA
The owner of the pet will be penalized if the pet pass his or her excreta on streets or roads. This was one of the laws which was passed by Govt. few months back. Now tell what is the provision for street animals under this law. Where the street animals will excrete? Who will be penalized if the street animals like dogs, cats, and cows will pass their stools in public places? Also one more question which came to my mind was, will the Govt. , appoint officers to keep an eye on animals? Well after going through my questions you too will agree the law is baseless. The law can only be successfully implemented if the Govt. makes separate toilets for animals on roads. Also the street animals should be trained to use the toilets by Govt. officials. You will say I have gone crazy it is impossible to make common toilets for animals & who will maintain that? That is exactly what I am saying that the law is baseless & that is why no one followed it. Today animals are freely passing their excreta on roads & streets of Mumbai.
Another law which was passed was that anyone found spitting on road will be penalized. Frankly speaking this law was not as hard as the previous law but still it did not function. In my opinion it is because the Govt. did not take any serious against PAAN, BEDI, TOBACO shops on road sides. If the Govt. does not allow road side Paanwals the problem of spitting on roads will be solved to a great extent.
Thus in a nut shell it is good that Indian Govt. is thinking about making Mumbai to Shanghai but the laws which they made &tired to implement are baseless as a result Mumbai ko Shanghai bananae ka sapna adhura hi rahe gaya .
Most of the time it is the force strategy which is used to resolve interpersonal conflict .In force the individual tries to make use of physical power or techniques like threatening. By using the strategy of force the actual issue which raised conflict is avoided & the person who excreted maximum force wins. According to researcher Mark Deturek, men make more use of FORCE than women in resolving interpersonal conflicts.
In minimization strategy conflict is resolved by leaving it on time. Many people believe that with time conflict will be resolved. However interpersonal conflicts are never resolved completely with time. Sometimes we minimize a conflict with humor & literally laugh at it but this technique does nothing to resolve the problem because when the laughter dies the conflict is still very much alive & in fact the conflict gets further energized because of sarcastic attacks made by each other through humor.
To illustrate this I am sharing with you an example. When I was 9 I went to Gujarat on tour. In the bus there were many families with their young children. There was one boy who was around 7 years. I just asked him what is your name. Instead of replying me he slapped me tightly in front of every one. My parents felt very bad but they did not say anything to the boy instead they started laughing & said to his parents that your son will go ahead in his life. Although the whole event was passed in laugher but my the conflict was still not resolved in fact the hatred was there within me & through out the journey I looked the boy with anger & keep thinking of slapping him tightly .
A frequently employed strategy is to avoid dealing with the conflict by blaming some for it. For example. A couple has a conflict because their son did not pass in examination. The father will blame mother for not taking proper care of the son. The mother will blame the father for giving the son extra freedom. Blaming solves nothing but it temporarily decreases the intensity of conflict.
One of the most unfair but most popular fight strategies is the use of Silencers. One frequently used Silencer is CRYING .When confronted by a conflict & unable to deal with it or winning is difficult .The individual cries & thus silences the other person.
Another silencer are screaming, shouting & pretending to be fainting. By using the strategy of Silencers the Conflict remains unexamined & unresolved.
5) GUNNY SACKING :
Gunny sacking refers to storing up grievances – as if in a gunny sack & holding them in a readiness to dump on the person with whom you are now in conflict .When a conflict occurs the sack is unloaded. For eg ) You always forget our dates last year you forgot my birthday. Gunny sacking opens old wounds & avoids coming to grips with the immediate conflict.
6) BELT LINING:
Each of us has a belt line that separates what we can tolerate effectively from what we cannot. In an interpersonal relationship we know where that belt line is because we know the other person so well .The task is not to go below that line in conflict encounters. However sometimes we hit below the belt line for eg ) saying about the person’s baldness, impotence, previous failures, low salary etc. . . Belt lining is used by persons who want to win the fight & destroy the opponent. However this strategy completely damages interpersonal relationship.
7) PERSONAL REJECTION:
In personal rejection the individual withholds love & affection & seeks to win the argument by getting the other person break down under this withdrawal. The individual acts cold & uncaring. For eg ) when ever I & my mother have conflict she does not talk to him for few hours & tires to avoid me because of this I feel neglected & than when she feels I am demoralized she re- institutes her love & affection .
Nonverbal communication often used to highlight or emphasize some part o the verbal message We might, for example, smile to emphasize a particular word or phrase bang our fist on the desk to emphasize or commitment to a statement .
Nonverbal communication may also be used to reinforce the general tone or attitude communicated by the verbal message. Thus, we might smile when telling a humorous story or frown and shake our heads when telling of someone’s deceit.
To Contradict .
We may also deliberately contradict our verbal messages with nonverbal movements, for example, by crossing our fingers or winking to in indicate that what we are saying is a lie.
Nonverbal movements are frequently used to control or to indicate ‘one’s desire to control the flow of nonverbal message or for example as when we make hand movements to indicate that we want to say something.
We can also repeat or restate the meaning of the verbal message . Foe example , follow our verbal statement ‘ IT IS ALRIGHT “ with an OK sign made with our fingers .
Nonverbal communication may also take the place of verbal messages we can for example say OKAY with our hands without saying anything verbally
With my imagination I tried to sketch Manik Iraani. Please excuse me for not sketching properly because I just sketched it with my imagination .The more than 6 feet tall handsome Parsi man passed away some 10 years back. Many of us have forgotten him as he did not do any significant work in bollywood movies. He only played the role of a GUNDA & in all the movies he acted , you will find him in black trouser with a shining metallic belt ,sometimes without baniyaan on top & sometimes with red or black sleeveless baniyaan & last but not least a black colored leather band on his forehead .
One movie which I remembered , in which he acted was MASTKALANDAR staring DHARMENDRA & DIMPLE KAPADIA .In all the movies he had same role & mostly he never spoke . He just used to come out of drums, shows his biceps & than he used to smile. Finally he hits the main hero. He gives two three blows but than the hero beats him badly & breaks his bones. This is the role which he has done in all the movies .Although I have not seen him but people who had seen him say that he was a body builder & very tall & handsome guy but unfortunately he never got a decent role in bollywood, which he always desired. Yes Manik's ambition was to become a hero & not a Gunda.
With my brief description about MANIK IRANI by now many of you have sketched a picture of him in your mind. Coming back to my point. Manik Irani's dream was to become a hero but he never got the chance .When he failed in full filling his dreams one day he committed suicide .At a very young age he left all of us & his widow mother all alone.
Since Manik did not do any great work in bollywood, his death was not hyped by media & in fact no one missed him because there are many people who act as Gunda. However I came to know about his death from his friend FARHAAD. Farhaad used to work in our building . He one day told to my mother about Manik Iraani & about Manik Irani's mother who was that time earning her daily bread by selling petty things. Now I do not know what happened to Manik Irani's mother because it has already been more than 10 years.
Now this is not the story of Manik Irani alone. There are many people who when fail in fulfilling their ambitions restore to immature ways like committing suicide. It happens with each one of us in life when we get frustrated because of failure but it is not correct to commit suicide because there are people behind us who care & love us we should think about them first .Also time changes & one should keep trying luck till death.
1) “DIDI DIDI…DDI DIWA ", this was a super duper international hit sung by KHALID who was from Israel, some 10-15 years back. When ever I hear & watch the music video of this song . I feel that Khalid is searching her elder sister. He is screaming didi didi , have you seen my didi any where…..?
2) “TAI JAMALO...TUTAK TUTAK TUTIYAAN, a super duper Punjabi hit sung by UK based Malkit Singh. He sung this song some 15-16 years back. Every time when I hear this song I think the singer is saying please set the curds ( dahi jama lo ).
3) “AATI NAHI ...HA AATI NAHI this was a song from the movie PREM staring SANJAY KAPOOR. When I saw the song on TV, I felt that Sanjay is trying to convey that he is not able to pass stools rather than his dream woman is not coming in his life.
4) MERAE HAATHO MEI NAU NAU CHUDIYAAN HAI THODA THARO SAJAN MAJBOORIYAAN HAI a song from the movie CHANDINI staring Shridevi & Rishi Kapoor. This was a hit song & all the girls used to dance on this song in weddings. However I always thought that haatho Mei chudiyaan hai ya hathkadia. ….Chudiyaan pahnae se koi majburi nahi hoti . Yeh to khali 9 chudiyaan hai , Rajsthan mei to 2 dozen chudiyaan ek ek haath mei pahntae hai aur fir bhi koi problem nahi hoti kaam karnae mei ya kisi se milnae milanae mei. Therefore I changed the song MERE HATHO MEI HATHKADIAYAN HAI THODA THARO SAJAN , INSPECTOR SAHAB HAI ……
5) “ SAU SAAL PAHALE …HUMAE TUMSAE PYAAR THA …AAJ BHI HAI AUR KAL BHI RAHEGA .The only thing that comes into my mind when ever I hear this song is that the singers are not normal human beings they are ghosts ………
6) " AI YA YA...MEI KYA KARU SUKU SUKU........, On hearing this song I think "AI YA YA MEI KAR KARU HO GAYA SU SU "
You must have heard your Grand parents & may be your parents saying that we used to get candies in 1 Pie, Icecream in 1 Anna & you must be asking them what is Pie,Pice & Aana ?
Today with growing expenses these currency are no longer used in India but these currency have antique value.The amazing fact about the old currency is that the cost of coin was more than the face value of coin because these coins were made of Copper, Silver & Brass & in case of current coins the face value of coin is more than the actual cost of coin since all the coins are made of Steel.
Pie was considered as the smallest currency. It is 1/12 of a Aana & 1 Aana is aproximately 6 Paise.Eight Annas means 50 paise.Also coin with face value 1/4 of Aana was used , which means 1.5 Paise.My Parents say that they used to get 1 Aana every day as pocket money from their parents & I wonder just 6 paise.They say in 6 paise we used to relish eatables which you will get in 75-100 Rs today & also the quality of eatables which they used buy in 6 paise is much better. I feel within few years 1 Rs & 2 Rs coin will vanish like 5 paise ,10 paise & 25 paise coin & the next generation people will ask how 25 paise coin you used to look ? & questions similar to this .
According to me Pharmaceutical companies benefit a lot when coins of lower money value are banned because the pricing of medicines is like 10 Rs 65 Paise & amounts similar to that than they automatically get 11 Rs due to simple reason that coins of lower money value are banned.