UNPRODUCTIVE STRATEGIES OF RESOVING INTERPERSONAL CONFLICTS

When ever there is a conflict between two or more individuals it is either resolved using Productive or Unproductive strategies... productive Strategies are EMPATHY, EQUALITY, POSITIVENESS, and SUPPORTIVENESS & OPENNESS . However in this article I will only focus on Unproductive strategies &we all use them consciously or unconsciously.



1) FORCE:

Most of the time it is the force strategy which is used to resolve interpersonal conflict .In force the individual tries to make use of physical power or techniques like threatening. By using the strategy of force the actual issue which raised conflict is avoided & the person who excreted maximum force wins. According to researcher Mark Deturek, men make more use of FORCE than women in resolving interpersonal conflicts.



2) MINIMIZATION:

In minimization strategy conflict is resolved by leaving it on time. Many people believe that with time conflict will be resolved. However interpersonal conflicts are never resolved completely with time. Sometimes we minimize a conflict with humor & literally laugh at it but this technique does nothing to resolve the problem because when the laughter dies the conflict is still very much alive & in fact the conflict gets further energized because of sarcastic attacks made by each other through humor.

To illustrate this I am sharing with you an example. When I was 9 I went to Gujarat on tour. In the bus there were many families with their young children. There was one boy who was around 7 years. I just asked him what is your name. Instead of replying me he slapped me tightly in front of every one. My parents felt very bad but they did not say anything to the boy instead they started laughing & said to his parents that your son will go ahead in his life. Although the whole event was passed in laugher but my the conflict was still not resolved in fact the hatred was there within me & through out the journey I looked the boy with anger & keep thinking of slapping him tightly .



3) BLAME:

A frequently employed strategy is to avoid dealing with the conflict by blaming some for it. For example. A couple has a conflict because their son did not pass in examination. The father will blame mother for not taking proper care of the son. The mother will blame the father for giving the son extra freedom. Blaming solves nothing but it temporarily decreases the intensity of conflict.



4) SILENCERS:

One of the most unfair but most popular fight strategies is the use of Silencers. One frequently used Silencer is CRYING .When confronted by a conflict & unable to deal with it or winning is difficult .The individual cries & thus silences the other person.

Another silencer are screaming, shouting & pretending to be fainting. By using the strategy of Silencers the Conflict remains unexamined & unresolved.



5) GUNNY SACKING :

Gunny sacking refers to storing up grievances – as if in a gunny sack & holding them in a readiness to dump on the person with whom you are now in conflict .When a conflict occurs the sack is unloaded. For eg ) You always forget our dates last year you forgot my birthday. Gunny sacking opens old wounds & avoids coming to grips with the immediate conflict.



6) BELT LINING:

Each of us has a belt line that separates what we can tolerate effectively from what we cannot. In an interpersonal relationship we know where that belt line is because we know the other person so well .The task is not to go below that line in conflict encounters. However sometimes we hit below the belt line for eg ) saying about the person’s baldness, impotence, previous failures, low salary etc. . . Belt lining is used by persons who want to win the fight & destroy the opponent. However this strategy completely damages interpersonal relationship.



7) PERSONAL REJECTION:

In personal rejection the individual withholds love & affection & seeks to win the argument by getting the other person break down under this withdrawal. The individual acts cold & uncaring. For eg ) when ever I & my mother have conflict she does not talk to him for few hours & tires to avoid me because of this I feel neglected & than when she feels I am demoralized she re- institutes her love & affection .