Many a times because of sheer laziness we act carelessly & for which we have to suffer big .To elicit on this, I am sharing wit you a real life incident. Few months back my cousin was hospitalized & was operated because of his mother’s carelessness.
My cousin’s mother on one fine afternoon was stitching some clothes at home. After doing little work she felt sleepy & so she instead of inserting the needle in the thread reel she inserted that needle in the sofa on which she was sitting. She also kept all the clothes that were left, on the sofa & went to sleep. My cousin came from college & as usual switched on the TV to watch the Cricket match. As he was looking at the scores updates on the TV screen, he sat on the sofa. No sooner did he sit on the sofa, he screamed loudly. Everybody thought that Sachin must have hit the ball for six but it was the needle which poked in my cousin’s left buttock. The worst part was that the needle broke & half needle remained in sofa & half inside his buttock. My cousin was immediately rushed to hospital & was operated. Fortunately he got well within a week.
Now when ever I recollect this incident, I feel that just because my aunty was careless her son suffered. It would have hardly taken a minute to put the needle in the right place but out of laziness my aunty inserted the needle in the sofa & as a consequence his son was in pain. The incident which I mentioned is very rare but some very common examples of carelessness are throwing Banana skins on road & going to bed without brushing the teeth. Many people eat Banana & instead of disposing the skin in the garbage area they simply throw on road & move ahead & some unknown person slips on the skin & break his or her bones. People who throw Banana skins carelessly forget that it is possible that they too can slip on the Banana skin thrown by somebody else on road. Similarly many of us out of laziness go to bed at night without brushing our teeth & because of not taking care of our teeth we finally visit dentist either for root canal or tooth extraction.
THUS LAZINESS LEADS TO CARELESSNESS & CARELESSNESS IN LONG RUN PUT US IN BIG DILEMMA
KYU RAH GAYA MUMBAI KO SHNGHAI BANANAE KA SAPNA ADHOORA ?
n the effort of making Mumbai Shanghai, Indian Govt. in recent past, passed some laws pertaining to cleanliness. The laws came into effect & within a short period only the laws disappeared. According to me a major reason to why the laws did not work is that the laws were baseless. To make my point clear , I am throwing light on some laws which were made to make Mumbai Shanghai.
The owner of the pet will be penalized if the pet pass his or her excreta on streets or roads. This was one of the laws which was passed by Govt. few months back. Now tell what is the provision for street animals under this law. Where the street animals will excrete? Who will be penalized if the street animals like dogs, cats, and cows will pass their stools in public places? Also one more question which came to my mind was, will the Govt. , appoint officers to keep an eye on animals? Well after going through my questions you too will agree the law is baseless. The law can only be successfully implemented if the Govt. makes separate toilets for animals on roads. Also the street animals should be trained to use the toilets by Govt. officials. You will say I have gone crazy it is impossible to make common toilets for animals & who will maintain that? That is exactly what I am saying that the law is baseless & that is why no one followed it. Today animals are freely passing their excreta on roads & streets of Mumbai.
Another law which was passed was that anyone found spitting on road will be penalized. Frankly speaking this law was not as hard as the previous law but still it did not function. In my opinion it is because the Govt. did not take any serious against PAAN, BEDI, TOBACO shops on road sides. If the Govt. does not allow road side Paanwals the problem of spitting on roads will be solved to a great extent.
Thus in a nut shell it is good that Indian Govt. is thinking about making Mumbai to Shanghai but the laws which they made &tired to implement are baseless as a result Mumbai ko Shanghai bananae ka sapna adhura hi rahe gaya .
The owner of the pet will be penalized if the pet pass his or her excreta on streets or roads. This was one of the laws which was passed by Govt. few months back. Now tell what is the provision for street animals under this law. Where the street animals will excrete? Who will be penalized if the street animals like dogs, cats, and cows will pass their stools in public places? Also one more question which came to my mind was, will the Govt. , appoint officers to keep an eye on animals? Well after going through my questions you too will agree the law is baseless. The law can only be successfully implemented if the Govt. makes separate toilets for animals on roads. Also the street animals should be trained to use the toilets by Govt. officials. You will say I have gone crazy it is impossible to make common toilets for animals & who will maintain that? That is exactly what I am saying that the law is baseless & that is why no one followed it. Today animals are freely passing their excreta on roads & streets of Mumbai.
Another law which was passed was that anyone found spitting on road will be penalized. Frankly speaking this law was not as hard as the previous law but still it did not function. In my opinion it is because the Govt. did not take any serious against PAAN, BEDI, TOBACO shops on road sides. If the Govt. does not allow road side Paanwals the problem of spitting on roads will be solved to a great extent.
Thus in a nut shell it is good that Indian Govt. is thinking about making Mumbai to Shanghai but the laws which they made &tired to implement are baseless as a result Mumbai ko Shanghai bananae ka sapna adhura hi rahe gaya .
UNPRODUCTIVE STRATEGIES OF RESOVING INTERPERSONAL CONFLICTS
When ever there is a conflict between two or more individuals it is either resolved using Productive or Unproductive strategies... productive Strategies are EMPATHY, EQUALITY, POSITIVENESS, and SUPPORTIVENESS & OPENNESS . However in this article I will only focus on Unproductive strategies &we all use them consciously or unconsciously.
1) FORCE:
Most of the time it is the force strategy which is used to resolve interpersonal conflict .In force the individual tries to make use of physical power or techniques like threatening. By using the strategy of force the actual issue which raised conflict is avoided & the person who excreted maximum force wins. According to researcher Mark Deturek, men make more use of FORCE than women in resolving interpersonal conflicts.
2) MINIMIZATION:
In minimization strategy conflict is resolved by leaving it on time. Many people believe that with time conflict will be resolved. However interpersonal conflicts are never resolved completely with time. Sometimes we minimize a conflict with humor & literally laugh at it but this technique does nothing to resolve the problem because when the laughter dies the conflict is still very much alive & in fact the conflict gets further energized because of sarcastic attacks made by each other through humor.
To illustrate this I am sharing with you an example. When I was 9 I went to Gujarat on tour. In the bus there were many families with their young children. There was one boy who was around 7 years. I just asked him what is your name. Instead of replying me he slapped me tightly in front of every one. My parents felt very bad but they did not say anything to the boy instead they started laughing & said to his parents that your son will go ahead in his life. Although the whole event was passed in laugher but my the conflict was still not resolved in fact the hatred was there within me & through out the journey I looked the boy with anger & keep thinking of slapping him tightly .
3) BLAME:
A frequently employed strategy is to avoid dealing with the conflict by blaming some for it. For example. A couple has a conflict because their son did not pass in examination. The father will blame mother for not taking proper care of the son. The mother will blame the father for giving the son extra freedom. Blaming solves nothing but it temporarily decreases the intensity of conflict.
4) SILENCERS:
One of the most unfair but most popular fight strategies is the use of Silencers. One frequently used Silencer is CRYING .When confronted by a conflict & unable to deal with it or winning is difficult .The individual cries & thus silences the other person.
Another silencer are screaming, shouting & pretending to be fainting. By using the strategy of Silencers the Conflict remains unexamined & unresolved.
5) GUNNY SACKING :
Gunny sacking refers to storing up grievances – as if in a gunny sack & holding them in a readiness to dump on the person with whom you are now in conflict .When a conflict occurs the sack is unloaded. For eg ) You always forget our dates last year you forgot my birthday. Gunny sacking opens old wounds & avoids coming to grips with the immediate conflict.
6) BELT LINING:
Each of us has a belt line that separates what we can tolerate effectively from what we cannot. In an interpersonal relationship we know where that belt line is because we know the other person so well .The task is not to go below that line in conflict encounters. However sometimes we hit below the belt line for eg ) saying about the person’s baldness, impotence, previous failures, low salary etc. . . Belt lining is used by persons who want to win the fight & destroy the opponent. However this strategy completely damages interpersonal relationship.
7) PERSONAL REJECTION:
In personal rejection the individual withholds love & affection & seeks to win the argument by getting the other person break down under this withdrawal. The individual acts cold & uncaring. For eg ) when ever I & my mother have conflict she does not talk to him for few hours & tires to avoid me because of this I feel neglected & than when she feels I am demoralized she re- institutes her love & affection .
1) FORCE:
Most of the time it is the force strategy which is used to resolve interpersonal conflict .In force the individual tries to make use of physical power or techniques like threatening. By using the strategy of force the actual issue which raised conflict is avoided & the person who excreted maximum force wins. According to researcher Mark Deturek, men make more use of FORCE than women in resolving interpersonal conflicts.
2) MINIMIZATION:
In minimization strategy conflict is resolved by leaving it on time. Many people believe that with time conflict will be resolved. However interpersonal conflicts are never resolved completely with time. Sometimes we minimize a conflict with humor & literally laugh at it but this technique does nothing to resolve the problem because when the laughter dies the conflict is still very much alive & in fact the conflict gets further energized because of sarcastic attacks made by each other through humor.
To illustrate this I am sharing with you an example. When I was 9 I went to Gujarat on tour. In the bus there were many families with their young children. There was one boy who was around 7 years. I just asked him what is your name. Instead of replying me he slapped me tightly in front of every one. My parents felt very bad but they did not say anything to the boy instead they started laughing & said to his parents that your son will go ahead in his life. Although the whole event was passed in laugher but my the conflict was still not resolved in fact the hatred was there within me & through out the journey I looked the boy with anger & keep thinking of slapping him tightly .
3) BLAME:
A frequently employed strategy is to avoid dealing with the conflict by blaming some for it. For example. A couple has a conflict because their son did not pass in examination. The father will blame mother for not taking proper care of the son. The mother will blame the father for giving the son extra freedom. Blaming solves nothing but it temporarily decreases the intensity of conflict.
4) SILENCERS:
One of the most unfair but most popular fight strategies is the use of Silencers. One frequently used Silencer is CRYING .When confronted by a conflict & unable to deal with it or winning is difficult .The individual cries & thus silences the other person.
Another silencer are screaming, shouting & pretending to be fainting. By using the strategy of Silencers the Conflict remains unexamined & unresolved.
5) GUNNY SACKING :
Gunny sacking refers to storing up grievances – as if in a gunny sack & holding them in a readiness to dump on the person with whom you are now in conflict .When a conflict occurs the sack is unloaded. For eg ) You always forget our dates last year you forgot my birthday. Gunny sacking opens old wounds & avoids coming to grips with the immediate conflict.
6) BELT LINING:
Each of us has a belt line that separates what we can tolerate effectively from what we cannot. In an interpersonal relationship we know where that belt line is because we know the other person so well .The task is not to go below that line in conflict encounters. However sometimes we hit below the belt line for eg ) saying about the person’s baldness, impotence, previous failures, low salary etc. . . Belt lining is used by persons who want to win the fight & destroy the opponent. However this strategy completely damages interpersonal relationship.
7) PERSONAL REJECTION:
In personal rejection the individual withholds love & affection & seeks to win the argument by getting the other person break down under this withdrawal. The individual acts cold & uncaring. For eg ) when ever I & my mother have conflict she does not talk to him for few hours & tires to avoid me because of this I feel neglected & than when she feels I am demoralized she re- institutes her love & affection .
FUNCTIONS OF NON VERBAL COMMUNICATION
Nonverbal communication can serve any number of significant functions six major functions are generally identified by nonverbal researchers.
To Accent.
Nonverbal communication often used to highlight or emphasize some part o the verbal message We might, for example, smile to emphasize a particular word or phrase bang our fist on the desk to emphasize or commitment to a statement .
To Complement.
Nonverbal communication may also be used to reinforce the general tone or attitude communicated by the verbal message. Thus, we might smile when telling a humorous story or frown and shake our heads when telling of someone’s deceit.
To Contradict .
We may also deliberately contradict our verbal messages with nonverbal movements, for example, by crossing our fingers or winking to in indicate that what we are saying is a lie.
To Regulate
Nonverbal movements are frequently used to control or to indicate ‘one’s desire to control the flow of nonverbal message or for example as when we make hand movements to indicate that we want to say something.
To Repeat.
We can also repeat or restate the meaning of the verbal message . Foe example , follow our verbal statement ‘ IT IS ALRIGHT “ with an OK sign made with our fingers .
To Substitute.
Nonverbal communication may also take the place of verbal messages we can for example say OKAY with our hands without saying anything verbally
To Accent.
Nonverbal communication often used to highlight or emphasize some part o the verbal message We might, for example, smile to emphasize a particular word or phrase bang our fist on the desk to emphasize or commitment to a statement .
To Complement.
Nonverbal communication may also be used to reinforce the general tone or attitude communicated by the verbal message. Thus, we might smile when telling a humorous story or frown and shake our heads when telling of someone’s deceit.
To Contradict .
We may also deliberately contradict our verbal messages with nonverbal movements, for example, by crossing our fingers or winking to in indicate that what we are saying is a lie.
To Regulate
Nonverbal movements are frequently used to control or to indicate ‘one’s desire to control the flow of nonverbal message or for example as when we make hand movements to indicate that we want to say something.
To Repeat.
We can also repeat or restate the meaning of the verbal message . Foe example , follow our verbal statement ‘ IT IS ALRIGHT “ with an OK sign made with our fingers .
To Substitute.
Nonverbal communication may also take the place of verbal messages we can for example say OKAY with our hands without saying anything verbally
WHEN WE FAIL TO FULL FILL OUR DREAMS
With my imagination I tried to sketch Manik Iraani. Please excuse me for not sketching properly because I just sketched it with my imagination .The more than 6 feet tall handsome Parsi man passed away some 10 years back. Many of us have forgotten him as he did not do any significant work in bollywood movies. He only played the role of a GUNDA & in all the movies he acted , you will find him in black trouser with a shining metallic belt ,sometimes without baniyaan on top & sometimes with red or black sleeveless baniyaan & last but not least a black colored leather band on his forehead .
One movie which I remembered , in which he acted was MASTKALANDAR staring DHARMENDRA & DIMPLE KAPADIA .In all the movies he had same role & mostly he never spoke . He just used to come out of drums, shows his biceps & than he used to smile. Finally he hits the main hero. He gives two three blows but than the hero beats him badly & breaks his bones. This is the role which he has done in all the movies .Although I have not seen him but people who had seen him say that he was a body builder & very tall & handsome guy but unfortunately he never got a decent role in bollywood, which he always desired. Yes Manik's ambition was to become a hero & not a Gunda.
With my brief description about MANIK IRANI by now many of you have sketched a picture of him in your mind. Coming back to my point. Manik Irani's dream was to become a hero but he never got the chance .When he failed in full filling his dreams one day he committed suicide .At a very young age he left all of us & his widow mother all alone.
Since Manik did not do any great work in bollywood, his death was not hyped by media & in fact no one missed him because there are many people who act as Gunda. However I came to know about his death from his friend FARHAAD. Farhaad used to work in our building . He one day told to my mother about Manik Iraani & about Manik Irani's mother who was that time earning her daily bread by selling petty things. Now I do not know what happened to Manik Irani's mother because it has already been more than 10 years.
Now this is not the story of Manik Irani alone. There are many people who when fail in fulfilling their ambitions restore to immature ways like committing suicide. It happens with each one of us in life when we get frustrated because of failure but it is not correct to commit suicide because there are people behind us who care & love us we should think about them first .Also time changes & one should keep trying luck till death.
MEANING OF SOME SONGS FOR ME
There are some songs, when ever I hear them I think & feel something different from the actual meaning or message of the song & you too will agree with me after reading & hearing these songs.
1) “DIDI DIDI…DDI DIWA ", this was a super duper international hit sung by KHALID who was from Israel, some 10-15 years back. When ever I hear & watch the music video of this song . I feel that Khalid is searching her elder sister. He is screaming didi didi , have you seen my didi any where…..?
2) “TAI JAMALO...TUTAK TUTAK TUTIYAAN, a super duper Punjabi hit sung by UK based Malkit Singh. He sung this song some 15-16 years back. Every time when I hear this song I think the singer is saying please set the curds ( dahi jama lo ).
3) “AATI NAHI ...HA AATI NAHI this was a song from the movie PREM staring SANJAY KAPOOR. When I saw the song on TV, I felt that Sanjay is trying to convey that he is not able to pass stools rather than his dream woman is not coming in his life.
4) MERAE HAATHO MEI NAU NAU CHUDIYAAN HAI THODA THARO SAJAN MAJBOORIYAAN HAI a song from the movie CHANDINI staring Shridevi & Rishi Kapoor. This was a hit song & all the girls used to dance on this song in weddings. However I always thought that haatho Mei chudiyaan hai ya hathkadia. ….Chudiyaan pahnae se koi majburi nahi hoti . Yeh to khali 9 chudiyaan hai , Rajsthan mei to 2 dozen chudiyaan ek ek haath mei pahntae hai aur fir bhi koi problem nahi hoti kaam karnae mei ya kisi se milnae milanae mei. Therefore I changed the song MERE HATHO MEI HATHKADIAYAN HAI THODA THARO SAJAN , INSPECTOR SAHAB HAI ……
5) “ SAU SAAL PAHALE …HUMAE TUMSAE PYAAR THA …AAJ BHI HAI AUR KAL BHI RAHEGA .The only thing that comes into my mind when ever I hear this song is that the singers are not normal human beings they are ghosts ………
6) " AI YA YA...MEI KYA KARU SUKU SUKU........, On hearing this song I think "AI YA YA MEI KAR KARU HO GAYA SU SU "
1) “DIDI DIDI…DDI DIWA ", this was a super duper international hit sung by KHALID who was from Israel, some 10-15 years back. When ever I hear & watch the music video of this song . I feel that Khalid is searching her elder sister. He is screaming didi didi , have you seen my didi any where…..?
2) “TAI JAMALO...TUTAK TUTAK TUTIYAAN, a super duper Punjabi hit sung by UK based Malkit Singh. He sung this song some 15-16 years back. Every time when I hear this song I think the singer is saying please set the curds ( dahi jama lo ).
3) “AATI NAHI ...HA AATI NAHI this was a song from the movie PREM staring SANJAY KAPOOR. When I saw the song on TV, I felt that Sanjay is trying to convey that he is not able to pass stools rather than his dream woman is not coming in his life.
4) MERAE HAATHO MEI NAU NAU CHUDIYAAN HAI THODA THARO SAJAN MAJBOORIYAAN HAI a song from the movie CHANDINI staring Shridevi & Rishi Kapoor. This was a hit song & all the girls used to dance on this song in weddings. However I always thought that haatho Mei chudiyaan hai ya hathkadia. ….Chudiyaan pahnae se koi majburi nahi hoti . Yeh to khali 9 chudiyaan hai , Rajsthan mei to 2 dozen chudiyaan ek ek haath mei pahntae hai aur fir bhi koi problem nahi hoti kaam karnae mei ya kisi se milnae milanae mei. Therefore I changed the song MERE HATHO MEI HATHKADIAYAN HAI THODA THARO SAJAN , INSPECTOR SAHAB HAI ……
5) “ SAU SAAL PAHALE …HUMAE TUMSAE PYAAR THA …AAJ BHI HAI AUR KAL BHI RAHEGA .The only thing that comes into my mind when ever I hear this song is that the singers are not normal human beings they are ghosts ………
6) " AI YA YA...MEI KYA KARU SUKU SUKU........, On hearing this song I think "AI YA YA MEI KAR KARU HO GAYA SU SU "
IN LOVING MEMORIES OF PIE , PICE & AANAS
You must have heard your Grand parents & may be your parents saying that we used to get candies in 1 Pie, Icecream in 1 Anna & you must be asking them what is Pie,Pice & Aana ?
Today with growing expenses these currency are no longer used in India but these currency have antique value.The amazing fact about the old currency is that the cost of coin was more than the face value of coin because these coins were made of Copper, Silver & Brass & in case of current coins the face value of coin is more than the actual cost of coin since all the coins are made of Steel.
Pie was considered as the smallest currency. It is 1/12 of a Aana & 1 Aana is aproximately 6 Paise.Eight Annas means 50 paise.Also coin with face value 1/4 of Aana was used , which means 1.5 Paise.My Parents say that they used to get 1 Aana every day as pocket money from their parents & I wonder just 6 paise.They say in 6 paise we used to relish eatables which you will get in 75-100 Rs today & also the quality of eatables which they used buy in 6 paise is much better. I feel within few years 1 Rs & 2 Rs coin will vanish like 5 paise ,10 paise & 25 paise coin & the next generation people will ask how 25 paise coin you used to look ? & questions similar to this .
According to me Pharmaceutical companies benefit a lot when coins of lower money value are banned because the pricing of medicines is like 10 Rs 65 Paise & amounts similar to that than they automatically get 11 Rs due to simple reason that coins of lower money value are banned.
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